christian_scot

Stress Stress Stress

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:38:19 GMT

So it seems I have been depressed for weeks now and shall remain so indefinitely. Nothing has been falling through right. I’m the kind of person that dwells on what’s to come and plans accordingly. With all the things I have coming up, I’ve been stressing out like crazy. On top of all that everything I touch breaks and people are dying.

Starting off, I was worried about having to study for SATs/ACTs/SAT 2s with a SUPA Chemistry final and an English Regent coming up. At the same time I have swim practices everyday and swim meets on Tues/Thurs. I have the RXESearch Pharmaceutical Program before school on Weds/Thursdays, Frontiers of Science at Syracuse University on Saturdays, and Sectionals coming up in Feb with States following the first week of March.

The past couple of weeks swim meets have been falling on the days of school where I have to go in early for the RXESearch Pharmaceutical program combined with days I have gym. I have concluded that there is no such worse case scenario. Firstly, I rarely fall asleep before midnight due to swimming and homework and secondly, waking up early and working out before a swim meet just don’t mix well. This all leads to me being physically fatigued, furthering my depression and killing my swimming times.

Furthermore, teachers have been piling up projects and my shit keeps malfunctioning. My computer has been acting slowly and despite the efforts of 8 individual softwares, not a single infected file can be found. On the weekends when I finally get some spare time to myself I try gaming for a while and my computer overheats and crashes. Based on this fact, I have concluded that my processor has failed me which would require ~$100 to replace.

As if that’s not enough, every time I try to do something fun it falls through. I have missed one of the greatest rock concerts of all time simply because I don’t have a car and couldn’t find a ride. Now, the next concert I had lined up has fallen through once again due to transportation. All of this just pisses me off more because I can’t stand calling mommy, daddy and my friends for rides when I should be taking care of myself. I’m late to functions because my friends are irresponsible and can’t do half the shit I want to because my parents don’t have time to take me.

Last weekend I learned that my grandfather has refused to keep eating. He sleeps most of his days away as he awaits his death. The toll this has been taking on my father and my family is no feather on my back. The past 8 years of watching my father struggle to keep his alive has left me sorrowful and now the worst/best has happened. For years my father has had the overwhelming responsibility of making life altering decisions for his father. The worst part is that due to my grandfather’s dementia my father has to make his decisions based on what he believes his father would have wanted. For the past 8 years my father has been struggling to make the decisions my grandfather would have made. He constantly suffers the pain of knowing how horrified his father would be if he knew his own present state. Even worse he fears that someday he will place me in the same situation. The time has finally come that my grandfather made his own decision. By some strange primordial instinct he is ready to die and my father must respect that.

My teachers seem to think Regents week is a break for us. I get a take-home mid-term in math, an English project that must be filmed that week, and a bunch of other homework on top of the English Regent and Chemistry Final I have to go into school for on 3 of the 5 days which are apparently a “break.” Tuesday and Thursday I had swim meets that were both away in the middle of nowhere causing me to get home late and taking up most of my day. Tuesday and Wednesday I had the English Regent and Friday I had the Chemistry final. During that time I had to find a way to write a script, film a movie, edit it and study for all my tests while also keeping in mind that homework must get finished as well.

Making things even more depressing, Day 2 of the English Regents was canceled which means everything I did on Day 1 was voided. I must now retake the Regents in June while I will be trying to focus on other Regents. Great news!

Maria (my love) has been stressed too and her family only makes things worse. They constantly demean her and constrict her from doing the things that make her happy while blaming her for everything that goes wrong in the world. How can I help her when I’m in so much need myself? There is only so much time for us to talk on the phone now as I’ve become so incredibly busy and there’s only Sunday to see each other. Since we’re both depressed lately, our relationship is suffering.

Last night my flash drive began malfunctioning once again. Previously I had received a “The disk cannot be written to because it is write protected” error and formatted it, successfully solving the issue. This time, right when I needed it for an English project, it decided to become unfixable. With a Chemistry final early the next morning my patience was wearing thin. After about an hour of screwing around I had had it. I punched my computer case so hard I left a nice dent in the top which has also been driving me crazy due to my OCD. Every time I see it I get pissed that it is no longer in “mint condition” and then I realize, “Oh yeah, it’s internally retarded too,” which obviously doesn’t make me feel anymore reassured.

Today I took the Chemistry final. I did worse than I thought. 82. I broke Gary’s 500GB external hard drive by tripping over the cord. There’s another cost I’ll have to fund. Hopefully his files are still accessible somehow or else I ruined his day too by erasing a part of his life that can only be found on that hard drive. I missed my bus because I got on the wrong one. I sat in school for 2 extra hours waiting for a ride. I found out my Great Uncle Chuck died. At least it was peaceful. I hate death. I think of those who rely on the person who died and what it must do to them. I wish I could take their pain and swallow it with everything else. I was going to see my Uncle Chuck again soon. I haven’t seen him since I was too young to remember anything other than the fact that he was nice and he made me happy. Now I’ll see him for the last time, inanimate and cold. I hope there’s a heaven and my grandma is up there somewhere with him.

The Chemistry Final is over. The English Regents will come again in June. I have one swim meet left before Sectionals. Sectionals offers my last chance to make States and States arrive March 6. My entire February break I will be working 12 hour days and trying to study for upcoming SATs/ACTs/SAT 2s. Soon RXESearch Pharmaceutical will be over, thank God.

Music doesn’t have the same affect anymore. I’m irritable and sullen. I wake up with my sheets in 12 directions and can only imagine how depressing my dreams must have been as well. I need a break…I’m tired.

NYS Regents Examinations

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:54:04 GMT

Dear New York State,

Fuck you. The regents have become one of the most laughed at, detrimental necessities to the New York educational system. Teacher after teacher complains about having to prepare their students for an exam that is so simple-minded they fear their honors program students will have difficulties not "over-thinking" the problems. There have been arguments that if the teacher is qualified enough they will be able to prepare their students for the regents while also teaching them what they had planned. The truth is that in some cases this is possible, while in most others it is not. There are several reasons why I have concluded with my beliefs on the New York State regents.

First, the regents, say in Biology, might cover Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution. In this case, the regents will ask a question such as, "Who devised the theory of survival of the fittest?" After that, the regents very well may never refer back to anything Darwin did before/after devising that theory. The problem with this is that the teacher who would love to focus more on how Darwin influenced science and the way we think today, cannot because he must now move on to teach cells. The regents will then ask a question on cells, such as, "Which organelle is the powerhouse of the cell?" The student will remember this "fourth grade" term and immediately circle answer a) mitochondria. While the regents cover a wide variety of topics in each field of study, they merely scratch the ass of each sub-category, making the test laughably easy for any student to pass.

Secondly, the State curves the students' test results, which I think should be illegal. For an example if a student answers 50/100 questions correctly and they are all weighted worth 1pt, the student should fairly and justly receive their earned grade of 50%. This is not the case. Because the State is concerned about leaving children behind they curve up the grades below failing and as you may have guessed, curve down the grades of those who passed. My raw score on the Chemistry regents last year turned out to be 95/100, or 95%; however, I was scaled down 2 whole points and received a 93. Not only is this annoying but it doesn't matter anyways because not one college will look at a regents examination and find it anywhere near satisfactory for a reflection of a student's grade-level.

Thirdly, for the past two years of high school (10th/11th grade) our English department has had to focus on teaching students how to write Task I/Task II/Task III/Task IV essays. What are those? Exactly. They are pointless, never again to be used, P.O.S. writing style essays devised by New York State. Task I essays involve listening to a passage read by a proctor and simply regurgitating on paper exactly what you heard in standard English writing format. Task II asks students to read a passage and look at a chart and then to write a persuasive essay arguing the same damn points discussed in the article/chart. Real challenging, huh? Day 2 of the regents has students write the Task III/Task IV essays. The Task III essay gives a poem and an article and asks you to compare the two by discussing similar literary elements found within both. Literary elements? Oh you know, theme, characterization, irony, assonance, metaphors, similes, etc...all that fourth grade bullshit they teach you to look for in books so that you can better understand their meaning. Task IV essays involve recalling two books you have previously read in high school and comparing them once again using literary elements. So all that time spent teaching how to write essays we will never again use after high school isn't a detriment to our learning? My teachers nearly scratched meta-ethical moral relativism and transcendentalism, two topics they were enthusiastic about teaching us throughout the year, due to their tight and needy curriculums.

As if the whole regents thing couldn't piss me off anymore, today, my second day of the 11th grade English regents, was canceled due to weather. You know what that means? That means that the two 4 page, 6 paragraph, easy as hell, boring, 3 hours of my life wasted essays that I wrote yesterday on Day 1 of the English exam are now void. Why is that? I have no fucking clue, you tell me. Every single student in New York takes that test at the same exact time at only designated testing sites. Those tests are locked in a vault in Albany and remain there until being delivered to each testing sight the morning of the test date. From there those tests are locked in the school's vault under supervision until one hour before the test begins. The proctors then retrieve those tests and escort them to the testing rooms on each site. No one opens them or looks inside them under the penalty of NYS law. The students come in, are heavily monitored and leave after completing their exam within the required time limit. The tests are graded that day and scored. So now, Day 2 comes along and due to bad weather Day 1 is voided?! I understand that Day 2 must be postponed, and hell if they are worried that someone might have seen the Day 2 exams they can write a new one, but under no circumstances should Day 2's weather affect Day 1's exams.

I am now in AP/SUPA (Syracuse University Project Advance) Chemistry after taking Honors Regents Chemistry the year before. We are having to learn entirely new things that contradict what we had learned the year before because the regents tests students on stupid shit. I know that doesn't make much sense to anyone reading this, so let me give you an example. Our teacher, Mrs. Mitchell, receiver of the National Teacher of the Year Award, basically had to lie to us the entire year so that we would pass the regents. For example the theories we learned last year were always "this happens" or "this doesn't happen". Now we are relearning all of those theories and discovering that only 90% of the time that happens and 10% other things happen. This is what makes chemistry so challenging; most of it is based on theories and can only be proven experimentally. When we were in Honors Regents Chemistry we learned that "this always happens", etc because the questions on the regents ask "what happens when you do this?" We would have to answer simply, without thinking, "that". Now we are forced to re-think all of that and write much more, explaining why this doesn't always happen and how something else could occur. The regents are the biggest waste of time. While students in NYS are being tested on "stupid shit," students elsewhere without regents exams are scoring higher on SATs, making into better colleges and occupying better jobs.

Here is an interesting article I randomly came across:

-In Some Districts, 100 Percent Pass Regents (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/17/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/17regentswe.html?fta=y) Doesn't that just say it all...how hard can that test possibly be?

Now that I have vented, I am going to study for my AP/SUPA Chemistry final.

Grand Theft STEAM Account..Haha I Think Not

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 15:57:24 GMT

Okay, so I received a reply to my previous post titled "My STEAM Account Was Stolen" by an anonymous user titled "Stolen Account" that read:

"Yah man you did the same thing I did. Only I had Admin or what he called himself steam@support.com saying to me that he needs my username password and email address in the fallowing, and if i dont do it ill get VAC banned. Well that got me really scared so i gave that bitch all my information. Ahh i wish i could do something right now, like go find that guy and kill his ass, but you know its not possible lol. Well idk i sended all photocopy of my stuff Cdkeys and stuff, so i wish ill get it back. Haha i added myself to another account and i saw my name pop up, so i was like no shit!!! So i was like,"can i ask you a question?", well the guy is like sure, well i said, "did you ever stole accounts before?" HAHAHA------that bitch signed off really quick!!! So idk i think i got him, but the sad thing is that i still dont have my account back :( I hope Valve will retrieve it!!! Tell me what you think my e-mail:triadomax@hotmail.com"

I finally found my saved document of the same thing that happened to me just days after my account was stolen and I got it back. Here is the conversation I had with the "STEAM representative":

blackphantom says:
who are you?
blackphantom says:
you requested to be my friend?
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:

Steam™ Support has recieved a case filed against the Steam account you are currently using.
The client, T2Kalim@hotmail.com, has opened Case #1943-9942-2465 reporting that the account
you are currently using is stolen. Hijacked accounts is something that Steam staff does not
take very lightly. Please provide me with your steam account name and password or CD-Key to
Verify that your steam account is not stolen as reported. You will have 24 hours to respond
before you steam account is disabled and under no circumstances will it be re-enabled for
any gameplay or usage. If the account does not come up stolen we apologize very much for the
inconvenience and will give you any steam game for free. Please give me your account
name and password and CD-Key (If Possible) so I can run the information through our database.
Upon further investigation into this matter if the account is a stolen account we will lock
your ip from the Steam database and you will no longer be able to run any steam programs.Morphed says:
Steam™ Support has recieved a case filed against the Steam account you are currently using.
The client, T2Kalim@hotmail.com, has opened Case #1943-9942-2465 reporting that the account
you are currently using is stolen. Hijacked accounts is something that Steam staff does not
take very lightly. Please provide me with your steam account name and password or CD-Key to
Verify that your steam account is not stolen as reported. You will have 24 hours to respond
before you steam account is disabled and under no circumstances will it be re-enabled for
any gameplay or usage. If the account does not come up stolen we apologize very much for the
inconvenience and will give you any steam game for free. Please give me your account
name and password and CD-Key (If Possible) so I can run the information through our database.
Upon further investigation into this matter if the account is a stolen account we will lock
your ip from the Steam database and you will no longer be able to r
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
to run any steam programs.
blackphantom says:
wait a min
blackphantom says:
this is my account
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
alright
blackphantom says:
how can i trust you that if i give you my key you wont steal it?!
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
For our prefernce, we would like the exact accoutn information and if not given your accoutn will be banned.
blackphantom says:
how do i know you arent someone trying to steal my account tho?
blackphantom says:
why doesnt steam contact me via email?
blackphantom says:
if you truely are with steam i should recieve an email
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
This is a more direct and easy way to contact you.
blackphantom says:
i would like an email please
blackphantom says:
from steam
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
We were able to tell that you were online. So we thought we should be able to talk to you directly
blackphantom says:
dude please send an emal
blackphantom says:
i refuse to give you my info via steam friends
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
Alright sir, your account will be banned within the next 5-7 business days for not cooperating with steam support.
blackphantom says:
i am cooperating
blackphantom says:
i need an email
Tyler@support.steampowered.com says:
There is no need for direct email, seeing as we are coresponding right now
blackphantom says:
this is an inappropriate way of dealing with things...i kindly asked for an email
blackphantom says:
sir here is my issue...i have no idea if you work with steam or not...anyone can change their steam friends name
blackphantom says:
i just want a email to be safe
blackphantom says:
please dont misunderstanf
blackphantom says:
d
blackphantom says:
are you there?
blackphantom says:
may i get an email please?
Tyler@support.steampowered.com is now Offline.

Photography

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 02:25:28 GMT

I love photography. I use a Panasonic Lumix 7.0 megapixel camera with 12x optical zoom. Here are some of my finest works:

Addicted to iTunes Visualizer

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 03:24:49 GMT

iTunes Visualizer is amazing..that's about all I can say about it. It is highly entertaining and unlike anything I have ever seen.

Paintball

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 04:46:13 GMT

So just recently I became drawn to one of the fastest growing sports of this time, paintball. A few of my close friends were into paintballing at Headrush in Syracuse and I played a few games with them at a friend's house and loved it. However, my starter kit gun was no match against their NXT full auto 20+ bps monsters. So I looked on ebay for deals and eventually I settled with the Empire Invert Mini (a revolutionary paintball gun). The Invert Mini is extremely high tech. It is the world's smallest and lightest marker and has several amazing features to it. Here are the specs:

Something that has a lot of players excited is the release of the Invert Mini. It’s specs speak for themselves as one of the most unique markers ever released takes the stage this fall.
-Weighing in under 2 lbs (including barrel, ASA, 9volt battery and regulator) the Invert Mini will be one of the lightest markers in its class ever.
-Break Beam Anti-Chop Eyes Standard
-Multi-mode (NXL, PSP, NPPL & Millennium) firing capability with easy tournament lockout
-Clamping feed-neck with Ion (Smart Parts)/ICD threads
-’Cocker threaded barrel
-No hoses to crimp or break! Now there’s something to gape about. No hoses at all means that everything is internalized on the Mini.
-MSRP: $449.95. Enough said.
Its price puts it in contention with several other guns being released about the same time, most notably Smart Parts’ Epiphany Ion and the Proto Rail, as well as all other guns in the $400-$600 price range.
The Mini will definitely put Invert, associated with Empire, on the map for years to come.
<http://www.paintballjournal.net/invert-mini/>

I also chose a carbon fiber 68ci/4500psi tank and a Halo B Hopper. I am currently using the 12" stock barrel that came with the mini and everything works fine. When I get some more money I will be purchasing the dye ultralite 14" barrel. I absolutely love this marker. It is fast and has no problems keeping up with the pm6 or dm5. However, it operates at a maximum of 20bps, which really doesn't matter because in tournament style paintball you are capped at 15bps. This gun is great for anyone, pro or beginner and is VERY inexpensive for it's advanced technology.

Custom Built Gaming Rig (computer)

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 20:00:20 GMT

Today I built my first ever gaming computer with the help of my cousin Sean. Months of research was spent studying computer components and structure from sites such as newegg.com. I was self-taught and went in knowing very little to nothing about computer components or what makes a computer run haha. From what I have learned, to build a computer you must first understand exactly what you want to do with your computer. When people post on forums asking people to post what they believe is the best computer possible within a certain price range they get a million answers and a frequent question, "What will you be using your computer for?" I myself use my computer mainly for gaming and graphic designing. Therefore, I required a high-end graphics card, a fair amount of RAM, a fast hard-drive, and a dual-core processor because I multi-task. To top it all off, I went with a sweet looking case with blue LEDs and of course plenty of fans for ventilation. As of this date and to my knowledge for roughly $1500 (my price range) this was the *current* best bang for the buck when looking into gaming and graphics design, etc. (P.S. everything was bought through www.newegg.com AWESOME PRICES!!!).

operating system: Windows XP Professional w/ SP2 32-Bit

case: APEVIA X-CRUISER-AL Silver Steel ATX Mid Tower

monitor: Hanns·G HW-191DPB Black 19" 5ms DVI Widescreen LCD Monitor 300 cd/m2 700:1

psu (power supply): PC Power & Cooling Silencer 750 Quad - Copper (has a single 12v rail with 60amps on it!!!)

cpu (processor): AMD Athlon 64 X2 5200+ Windsor 2.6GHz 2 x 1MB L2 Cache Socket AM2 (I overclocked it to 2.88GHz)

mobo (motherboard): ASUS M2N-SLI Deluxe Socket AM2 NVIDIA nForce 570 SLI MCP ATX

video card (aka graphics card or gaming card): EVGA GeForce 7950GT 512MB GDDR3 PCI Express x16 HDCP KO Superclocked

hard drive (aka hard disk): Western Digital Caviar SE WD2500JS 250GB 7200 RPM 8MB Cache SATA 3.0Gb/s

CD/DVD combo drive: ASUS combo drive

Short Story for English

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 21:58:36 GMT

WAR-TORN
by: christian larrabee

    Jack reared back instantly and collapsed, hitting the ground within 10 yards of the amphibian he had beached on. The blood stained soil was wet and cold against his face; it seemed to warn Jack of what lay ahead. As Jack lay with his face against the shore, he imagined what preparations had taken place here in the past few months.

    The beach was rigged with giant metal blockades, barbwire, and landmines. Already, the American losses were severe. Suddenly reminding him of the present, Jack clenched his teeth as the hot pain from his left shoulder wound seared through his veins. Jack had been struck with a stray bullet from a German machine gunner.

    The beach was a mess, a vivid hell. Screams could be heard from every direction, “Get this man a medic,” “I don’t want to die,” “Get sniper fire on that pill box!” The first wave of Americans landing at Omaha Beach seemed futile. The air raids the night before proved unsuccessful in weakening the German defenses. The German crossfire was heavy.
Jack was scared now, more scared than he ever could’ve imagined possible before this day. Jack painfully crawled on his breast to a nearby crater, shaking from the cold ocean water and his shoulder pain. Everything suddenly seemed so real and apparent to him; Jack was in danger. In the months before, Jack spent his time preparing and imagining the great invasion. He was excited, and nothing, not even fear had clouded his ambition. For months, Jack anxiously awaited this day. Now Jack lay in a mess, on a war-torn region. What used to be Jack’s ambition was now overshadowed by complete fear.

    Jack lifted his head, peering above the horizon of the impact crater he lay in, and scanned his surroundings. Airborne sediment from exploding shells and percussion grenades coated a thin lens over his eyes, clouding his vision. Jack painfully clawed at his eyes, desperately trying to clear them. All around him, dug deep into the hills above were Nazi machine gunners protected by anti-tank barriers. Near him, Jack saw fellow soldiers falter and collapse, struggling to fight death which was so imminent to them. Jack saw men strewn in bloody heaps as they tried desperately to fight for their lives.

    Where he lay, bullets hissed and ripped by him, striking the earth close to him sending up jets of sand. The bullets not taking more friendly paths, struck the unlucky men standing in their way. Petrified and isolated from the one person who knew what to do, Jack searched frantically for his crew’s Lieutenant. Spotting a familiar Corporal, Jack then found his Lieutenant nearby. Summoning his courage Jack prepared himself to move.

    The incessant machine gun fire that had kept Jack immobilized, suddenly scattered elsewhere. Simultaneously, Jack rose, adrenaline pumping through him, grabbed his Thompson and fled. Viciously, Jack fired back at the oppressing machine gun fire. Diving on the ground next to the barbed barrier where his Lieutenant resided, Jack crawled into the trench to meet his crew. Half the crew was separated and the remaining few were pinned down in the trench.

    “Private Miller, where the hell have you been?” “We’ve got five 30 calibers at 3:00 and seven more at your 11.” “Smith!”

    “Yes Sir?” replied a tall, stocky, square-jawed man, named Smith. Smith had come from a large farm down in Georgia; his training was in the field of heavy machinery and support. The crew all referred to him as Chuck due to his cruel usage of heavy machinery, chuckling as he killed the unlucky prey in his path. In training Chuck had managed to shoot another private during one of our exercises that involved blanks for bullets. Chuck, the savage he could be at times, decided to sneak a few live rounds into the exercise, leading to the severe chest wound of Private 1st Class Jackson. The only thing that kept Chuck from being sent back to Georgia to shovel cow chips was his unprecedented skill behind the trigger of a machine gun.

    “Think you can supply some covering fire while we make our way across to that barrier over there?” bellowed Lt. Reddington over the deafening roar of gun fire.

    “I’ve only got about 230 rounds left Sir, but I’ll do my best!” replied Smith with a sly smile creeping across his face.

    “Alright men, on my signal we’re going to head northwest to that barrier across the field.” “Smith and Johnson will supply covering fire, while Sanders and Jones will smoke the open and follow in behind. “Ready men?” “Commence covering fire!” “Go, go, go!”

    Tearing out of the trench, with machine gun fire ringing in their ears, Jack and his crew ran swiftly to the nearby barrier. The bullets from Chuck’s gun came dangerously close to the men, nipping at their shoulders and head, as it whizzed by striking the barrier of stone, hill and sand bags around the enemy gunners. As Sanders went to lob his smoke grenade into the open he was brutally struck down by several bullets where he stood. In a panic, Jones ran for cover and forgot to deploy his own smoke grenade, leaving the rest of his crew vulnerable and evident. By the time they reached the barrier about fifty meters a way, the crew had suffered the loss of several men, including their only sniper.

    “God damnit Jones!” cursed Lt. Reddington. “There goes our only chance of breaching their defenses!”

    “I don’t know about that Sir,” cut in another private. “From my observations only two of the German machine gunners took notice to our displacement.” “If we can somehow take those two men out, we should still have a chance of making it beyond their defenses undetected.”

    “Alright then,” “Miller you’re good with a Springfield, go see if you can retrieve Maverick’s.”

    Maverick was our only sniper, who now laid spread across the beach in a mist of red; his sniper rifle resting at his side covered in blood. Trembling, Jack squeezed hard on the stock of his Thompson and dashed towards Maverick’s resting place. Reaching his side, he knelt beside him, set his Thompson in the stained sand and gathered the Springfield into his arms. Cradling the rifle, Jack dove back towards the barrier and crawled the remaining few yards between the barrier and himself.

    “Good work soldier,” complimented Lieutenant Reddington. “Now quickly pick off the German at your 12 and 10:00.”

    Turning the rifle over, Jack ejected its clip and inspected the remaining bullets it contained. One, two, three, Jack counted only three bullets left in the clip. With I nervous sigh, Jack returned the clip into the Springfield and raised the rifle at shoulder’s height. Pressing the butt of the gun firmly against his shoulder, he squeezed the side of his face tightly against the rifle’s stock. Focusing down the barrel with just his right eye agape, he scanned the first German barrier for a tiny niche that might allow a single bullet’s passage.

    Concentrating on the source of the machine gun flare, Jack placed his crosshairs a few inches above the center of the machine gun’s barrel and a half inch to the right to counter the fierce resistance of the western headed winds. Careful not to jerk the trigger, Jack pulled on the trigger ever so slightly, tensing all of his muscles to remain on target. Following through with the process, he rocked back as the rifle’s hammer struck the bullet, sending it tearing from the chamber and out of the end of the barrel. With precise accuracy, his bullet squeezed through the barrier’s opening and struck its target. Instantly, the machine gun fire ceased and its operator fell over the barrier lifelessly.

    With a sudden surge of positive energy and pride, Jack moved to his next victim, preparing himself for the kill. Struggling with the distance between the quarry and himself, he blinked his eyes several times trying to pinpoint an admissible aperture for the bullet. Suddenly catching a glimpse of movement, he fired a round at the possible enemy. Unsuccessful in striking his target, Jack began to lose his pride and became nervous and pressured. Jack was down to his last, lonely bullet. Saying a short prayer, that he may be successful in disabling his enemy, he scanned the area around the gunner for his miracle.

    Just then, Jack paused, lowering his rifle, as he gazed at a passing American bomber as it opened fire on the barrier enclosing his very victim. Flying over, the bomber dropped a single shell onto the fort and just then, Jack realized his prayer had been answered. Lifting the rifle to his shoulder, he waited for the enemy to recover and appear from the attack. As the smoke cleared, Jack caught a glimpse of what he thought may have been a dog tag. Blessing his last bullet’s travel, he sent the bullet to strike the gunner. When the smoke cleared, the unsuspecting Kraut was dead.

    Jack dropped the empty sniper rifle with a sigh and sense of accomplishment and Lt. Reddington handed him a B.A.R. From the barrier, the crew moved stealthily to the last remaining wall between the Allies and the Nazis. Reddington ordered the demolition men to blow a hole through the obstacle and within seconds the men were inside the German trenches leading to the machine gun towers.

    Just beyond the wall was heavy German resistance prepared and determined to destroy any oppressors. Opening fire, Jack and his crew filled the cramped passageway with precise bullets. Quickly, the crew stepped over the fallen Germans and advanced to the first nest of gunners. Coming in on the crew’s flank, Jack hurried to keep up with his companions. Suddenly, Jack felt a pinch in his back and a sudden hot sensation travel from his back to his stomach. The force of the sudden sting sent him stumbling forwards.

    Grabbing his stomach Jack realized he had been shot from behind. He looked down and saw the blood on his shirt and palms and his knees buckled as his fought to remain conscious. As Jack rested on his knees with his hands and torso stained red, he watched as his crew turned violently around and slaughtered his assailant. His head spinning wildly, and his vision blackening, Jack began to lose consciousness. Letting his body fall to the cold, war-torn earth below him, Jack resisted the inevitable.

Continuation of my resignition..

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 05:10:59 GMT

Here are the replies I have recieved to that post:

1st Reply..
Posted: August 6th, 2006
User: moc.ChrisWood

"you should write a book"

2nd Reply..
Posted: August 6th, 2006
User: team.moc|Drizzt(leader)

"blackphantom,
i am sorry to hear you feel that way about moc. i do believe that what you have said about my clan is in fact how you feel about a certain individual in the clan. i hope one day you can realize what the true meaning of teamwork is. good luck in your gaming career. there are many players out there that would love to have your spot.
drizzt"

My Reply to Drizzt..

"well drizzt, here is what teamwork is to me:

teamwork is,

-an act of complete giving.
-going to the extreme to help anyone (on your team) besides
yourself.
-putting all else before oneself for the better of the team.
-not once thinking about oneself.
-being always open to the advice of a peer [and or] someone of
higher ranking to improve in anyway for the benefit of the team.
-never doubting or criticizing another teamate or his ethics.
-being completely dedicated to your team.
-understanding the ways of each teamate.
-never worrying about your ranking on the team or where you
stand.
-a team where everyone is equal.
-never giving up (absolute perseverance).
-a team, where everyone is heard.

If I havent learned what teamwork is yet, then i sure hope I soon do. Your team is as weak as your weakest link, Drizzt. I do not at all mean this in skill aspect. I mean this as their ethics and cooperation. You mean to tell me that if one of your team players acts out of hand it is okay? Well I hate to break it to you man, but that is where troubles arrouse. As they have many times now. Don't get me wrong I highly respect you Drizzt but my advice to you is, It's time to put your foot down. Step up and show your team you mean business. Good luck to yeah man!

-blackphantom"

My Resignition from Team My Own Crew

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 05:05:33 GMT

Titled: Farewell and Goodluck
Where: Team.Moc Website Forums
Date: August 6th, 2006

Announcing my resignation..

I regret to inform you all that as of today: Sunday, August 6th, 2006 I will be resigning for my own crew.

I have long thought about this subject and have concluded.

Since I have joined moc I have run into many problems, such as:

accusations of hacking
clan disputes
CAL Team
etc

I have to say, I expected more from a clan of such reputation. This clan has gone from great to falling into ruins. Members are leaving, people are being disappointed, etc.

Open your eyes people.

The reason your CAL Team is falling to pieces is not a lack of practice. It's a lack of teamwork. You can choose to listen to me now, or ignore me and continue doing what you are doing. What you have is a group of commited players, but how much of a team are they? Ask yourself this. Everyone wants to be the best. Half the players are so egotistical they wont take advice and play for their own reputation. You people expect soo much out of CAL. You all want to go undefeated your first season. You lose a match and everyone gets pissed. This clan is highly unethical, immature and power-hungry. That is so pathetic.

I refuse to be pushed around anymore.
I refuse to put my self in a weak position anymore.
I refuse to deal with the drama anymore.

However, I have met alot of awesome, more ethical people of whom I appreciate the companionship. I hope to stay in touch with alot of you. Farewell and good luck.

blackphantom

All of the Above

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 19:04:59 GMT

I’ve endured pain
I’ve dealt with rejection
I’ve experience death
And been deprived of affection

I’ve been swallowed by fear
And at the same time by darkness
I’ve been paralyzed
And crippled by hate

Friends have left me
And loved ones have come and gone
I’ve been told I’ll never be
And I’ve chose paths I shouldn’t have foregone

I’ve been heartbroken
I’ve been depressed
I’ve suffered betrayal
And I’ll suffer the rest

I’ve fallen in love
And love has left me,
To suffer all of the above

i wrote this =)

poem

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 19:04:02 GMT

It’s been forever and a day
Forever too long

Yet even as darkness surrounds me
and the light begins to dim
My pen keeps on writing
The words from within

I’ve imagined life without you
Yet all I can see is darkness
&
It’s too hard to move on, with you gone away

It’s been too long
I’ve tried to be too strong
And I realize I’m weak without you

It’s been forever and a day
And that waiting pain is torture
For the man forced to endure
Forever and a day

i wrote this =)

Renaissance Fair Pictures [Cont.] the Activities

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 16:24:02 GMT

These Pictures are of the different activites we went and saw at the Renaissance Fair. They're really cool. They include: a sword swallower, a joust, etc. Check it out..

the wash wenches put on an amusing show

here they are again, with funny facial expressions

here they are again, with some guy from the crowd [lol]

my favorite, the multi-talented sword swallower =D

he had lots of great facial expressions..i call this one "i need to take a serious shit" [lol]

he's acting out something funny [haha]

him swallowing the sword

tada! & that is how you choke down a sword! [lol]

the knight's horse

another knight's horse

a scene from the sword fight (amoungst four knights)

the knights

all four of the knights mounter (except one..he's still climbing on [lol]

a close up on the knights

another close up on the really cool knights

me drawing the bow string

me taking aim for the shot

the henna tattoo i got at the ren fair

- Chris

Renaissance Fair Pictures

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 15:54:38 GMT

While traveling throughout the fair, I took several pictures, i'd be glad to share with you.

the queen, sitting upon her "man powered" chariot [lol]

the royalty

the merchants

royalty arrives to view the renewing of vows

the queen again

the lady that helps at the gate & the wandering musician

a couple of musicians..haha bad pun..but they really are a couple =P

the jester

the water wheel at the coin minting shop

a dirty beggar

he's persistent too [haha]

i thought this was an awesome shot..you decide..

an extremely beautiful pretzel lady =]

some cool people who work at the ren fair

the fenix press

a cool picture of the music lady

the bad dog tavern

the wash pit..the same one i scrub my underwear in everyday [haha j/k =P]

the wash wench

some dude that works at the ren fair

the people who work at the needle fairy, a renaissance clothing shop

he asked her to marry him that very morning

a cool dress on display

a very spiffy jacket

another renaissance dress

a place where you can buy really cool fountains (all hand made =-O)

a close-up on the cool dragon fountain

a guy that works there, check out his cool dagger

Renaissance Fair

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 02:32:10 GMT

Today, I went with Laurie and my dad to the Renaissance Fair in Sterling, NY. My father and Laurie renewed their wedding vows, along with many other couples in a special event held by the fair. I was the "official" photographer. [lol]. Which reminds me to inform you that I saved my money and bought a $400 Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ7 Digital Camera. The camera is 6.0 megapixels, has 12x optical zoom, a 3" LCD screen, and a variety of special modes and functions. So far the camera has done well and I am very pleased. However, I am still discovering and learning many new things about it. So anyways, my dad and Laurie got their vows renewed and I got several beautiful shots. Here they are:

a sideshot of my dad and laurie

my dad and laurie

cool picture..

when they got their vows renewed

the after party toast

dad & laurie in the tavern

dad & laurie

happy =]

Harbor Fest 5k Fun Run

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 02:11:32 GMT

Today, my dad and my step mom (Laurie) went with me to the Harbor Fest 5k (sponsored by the Oswego YMCA). In case you were wondering, a 5k is 3.1 miles long. The run took place along the roads and sidewalks all throughout the village of Oswego. We went up and down hills and experienced lots of heat. Nonetheless, we all finished with good times and no one died of a heat stroke, or dehydration for that matter [lol]. This was my first ever 5k run. I came in at aprox. 24:27, my dad came in around 32:10 and Laurie came in circa 33:30. The fastest time there for the 5k was a ridiculous 17:19! YMCA also sponsored a 10k run. A 10k is, as you may have assumed, twice the distance of a 5k or 6.2 miles. The fastest 10k time there, was an outstanding 33:07! That is crazy!! That's roughly 6 consecutive 5.5 minute miles! Although I am not a distance runner (I am a sprinter), I am pleased with my time today, and think I did really well. =] Both my dad and Laurie were also exceptionally pleased with their personal times. They both under estimated themselves and smashed their personal goals. All and all it was a good day, besides the pain we are now forced to endure for the rest of today and the following couple of days. [lol]

- Chris